(All I need to declare that ALL Josh Wilsons are cunts)
Much like the unkempt, unwashed and generally vulgar pussy of one of the more revolting of my previous sexual exploits, this album simply challenged my determination and tolerance from the second the moist chasm of failure and deprivation opened itself to me.
“Glass half full” wankers can suck a filthy, unclean dick when they attempt to tell me music can’t be “too happy”. Maybe it’s my miserable and bitter nature, but when faced with a product of such overwhelming positivity my head fucking spins. Be it a fault in my resentful nature or a physical response to the overly bouncy and dynamic production, this album just does my fucking head in. What’s with this ongoing market for music with such forceful projection of clichéd happiness? The relentless pounding simply conjures images of grinning morons attempting to fuck me through the ear, or it achingly draws my memory to the monumental head-fucking I experienced throughout the Transformers movies.
In contrast to the last album I reviewed, this album seems perfectly catered to the inferior mind of those who demand a predictable flow, structure and generic chorus. I will concede that a desire to create a basic, crowd-pleasing mound of shit has been well-realised in this album, but do we really need any more of this?
Though dumb masses may protest, we should be long past the point of producing such basic shit! The music industry today is dominated by generic pop shit which does absolutely nothing in the endeavour to benefit the longevity of music as an art form, instead choosing to capitalise on the stupidity of the masses with a consistent conveyor belt of uninspired and unambitious products.
This album is just another generic pile of Pop garbage and appeals to me as much as the idea of unprotected sex with an AIDS-ridden cactus. If you like Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran you will probably find a place in your painfully offensive library for this, but anybody with a deeper appreciation for interesting or original music should give this the wide berth you’d grant a naked homeless guy with a machete.