(What cool looking guys! What shit music!)
First impressions were not good, ladies and gentlemen! Of the three remaining listed releases of this week I was tasked with deciding from three albums I really didn’t give a shit about before surrendering to N.E.R.D, mostly due to a slight familiarity with their earlier music. With expectations at an all time low, it wasn’t a stretch for my first thoughts to be overwhelmingly negative.
There is something to be said for an album which simply encourages one to compile a list of juvenile and vulgar insults over genuine criticisms, and it sure isn’t positive! I trust I can be forgiven for assuming the introductory tracks should serve either to build towards a greater dynamic or to hit me with a hard fucking from the beginning to give me a good impression of the album, right? Whether you consider this more than adequate assumption or not, I’m almost certain you’ll agree that it acts as a hindrance to begin an album with your worst songs and hope to progressively get better.
Depressingly, however, any benefit the album might gain from this bold approach is in vain, as you slowly learn that the album doesn’t seem to increase in quality at any point. Sure, some songs have a better energy, but most just feel like a total assault on your senses. The tracks all come loaded with more headache-inducing noises than an evangelical street preacher and some songs almost feel painful to listen to. Couple this with the abrupt endings to some of the earlier tracks and it makes for a total lack of flow.
What upset me most is the clear potential the band have to make incredible music! The introductory section to Don’t Don’t Do It genuinely sounds fantastic, but the sound gradually falls into “total shit-storm” territory, much like the other tracks. And yes, I am pissed that my lord and saviour, Kendrick Lamar, got involved in this. This total disregard isn’t limited to this one particular track either! I felt a similar thing with the following track, ESP, which shows equal groove and pizzazz, until, much like the previous track, the song descends into absolute fucking garbage.
Maybe I’m not “going down on the kids”, or whatever your hip, millennial saying is, but I genuinely struggle to speculate to the target market for this. The band make huge attempts to incorporate very experimental techniques, which I’m totally on board for, but when they apply these to a sleek and stylish R&B groove they just seem to turn all of their gold to shit! It’s almost as if the aim of the album is to make an incomprehensible fucking mess.
To conclude, my darling readers; the album is shit. I expected far more from Pharrell Williams and Chad Hugo, but they failed to deliver any more than a compilation of squandered potential, incomprehensible noise and a total lack of flow. The album seemed a fucking ball-ache to listen to and there were legitimately times I just wanted to give up and do something more enjoyable, like drinking a bucketful of raspberry-scented bleach. I feel content in stating this has been one of the most dreadful experiences I have had this year and I couldn’t recommend you further from this album.